So this afternoon I started uploading these photos and had to leave to go run a few errands before they were done and I had a chance to write a bit about them. I was just going to write about how O is such a good brother to S-- how O brings S his dummy when he cries, how he helped me do S's massage and lotions after his bath last night, how he brings him toys and books to read when S is sitting in his bouncy chair with nothing to do. But then I went out and had a very typically Spanish encounter.
As I stepped into the lift in a sports shop, an older woman asked me to hold the door and joined me and the two boys who were in their stroller. The woman noticed S in his little cave below O and of course had to comment on how I had two babies and she hadn't seen S. This is normal. I get checked out more with our double stroller than I ever do walking around when I'm all dressed up and looking very blonde (the guys in our neighborhood can't resist catcalling anyone with blonde hair).
So this woman is commenting on the two babies and she starts to tell O that she likes him better. I'm thinking she's just being funny and just prefers toddlers to infants and I kind of laugh with her a bit. She exits, I pick out my stuff, and then we somehow end up in the lift together again. This time she is much more insistent that she likes O more than S. She tells him over and over how handsome he is with his blonde hair and how much she prefers him to S. How he's more handsome and beautiful than S and then she turns to me and asks if O gets jealous of S.
Maybe she felt it her to duty to alleviate any jealousy of the new baby by telling O how much better he is. Maybe she had the best intentions-- I'll give her that. But the whole thing was just so typical of here. As soon as people notice there are two babies in the stroller, I am asked one thing without fail: "Is he jealous?" They're obsessed with jealousy here. They ask it more than they ask how old either baby is or what their names are. And I always get to respond with "No!"
Andrew was at the park once with O. S was nowhere around but O was playing with another little boy. The boy's mother was talking with Andrew and started telling Andrew how her son was jealous of O because of his handsome shock of blonde hair. He wasn't even two and had plenty of blonde hair of his own.
I guess the upside of this national obsession with jealousy is that it makes for more interesting soap operas and gossip magazine articles. But in our little home I'm very proud to proclaim that O has shown nothing but love towards his little brother and little brother just sits and stares and smiles back. Love my boys. All of my boys.
4 comments:
I actually remember reading in a child development book that siblings who are closer than 2 yrs. apart or more than 4 yrs. usually don't have any problems with jealousy. I remember it also said that 2 1/2 yrs. apart was the worst and that's exactly what my sister and I are. ;)
Those photos are so cute. I want to see more recent photos of Sebastian.
Precious. Thank you. This jealousy thing is really weird to me. Are they using jealousy in the same sense we understand? Both the boys are handsome and I hope they continue to be best of friends.
Dad
Too funny I had never noticed, but I guess in Mexico there is a similar obsession. At the root of things that is one of the mayor problems with my aunt Laura. My grandmother spent her whole life comparing her to my mom, and she created a monster.
Your boys are great!!! even Andrew ;)
@Holly: I remember reading that in a book as well. The other day I was watching them together and got the distinct impression that they were meant to be close. With O, I came home from the hospital ready to have a second and maybe that was S's way of influencing me from the other side of the veil or something. With S, I came home wanting to look for a surrogate for our next one.
@Dad: I don't know if the term has the same meaning here as it does in the states but it certainly seems to be a national obsession. O has a series of books on the things papa does: Papa mows the lawn, Papa is sitting, Papa is happy, Papa shaves, Papa wakes up, etc. In the midst of all these mundane everyday things is this one page that says, "Papa is jealous" and shows Papa being jealous of mama hugging the little boy in the books. Funny.
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